How do Pastafarians speak in tongue?

Since today is the day of ascension of  the flying spaghetti monster from the primordial kitchen I thought I reveal this esoteric secret.

How do Pastafarians speak in tongue?
I thank the flying spaghetti monster, I speak with tongues more than ye all Gluten-free pasta doughs: Gennaro’s spaghetti alla puttanesca, Tagliatelle, Orecchiette with raw, with raw tomato sauce.Garlic ye old pappardelle, for all Chorizo carbonara become ashes.


schools by doodle_juice

schools, a photo by doodle_juice on Flickr.

Not mine I’m afraid but brilliant, and so good I had to post it again.

This is one of the funniest sketches that I have ever seen.

If Laureates wrote techi reviews!

Shakespeare on IPAD 3

Shall I compare thee to the release of IPAD 2 last Summer’s day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
And competitors as nature intends feature align
yet eternal Summer of this apple product shall not fade.
So long as apps can be free, or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this IPAD in the market be.

Mary Shelley on Windows Vista

“Cursed, cursed creator! Why did I live? Why, in that instant, did I not extinguish the spark of existence which you had so wantonly bestowed? I know not; despair had not yet taken possession of me; my feelings were those of rage and revenge. I could with pleasure have destroyed the desktops and its users and have glutted myself with their shrieks and misery.

Charles Dickens on Winzip
Why I was trying to pack mine into my tumbler, I am wholly unable to say. I only know that I found myself, with a perseverance worthy of a much better cause, making the most strenuous exertions to compress it within those limits. Again I thanked him and apologized, and again he said in the cheerfullest manner, “Not at all, I am sure!” and resumed.

Virginia Woolf on Angry Birds

For Heaven only knows why one loves it so, how one sees it so, making it up, building it round one, tumbling it, creating it every moment afresh; but the veriest frumps, the most dejected of miseries sitting on doorsteps (drink their downfall) do the same; can’t be dealt with, she felt positive, by Acts of justice for that very reason: they love revenge from pigs.

James Joyce on Ebay

In their shawls and their tall combs and the auctions in the morning the Greeks and the jews and the Arabs and the devil knows who else from all the ends of Europe and Duke street and the fowl market all clucking outside Larby Sharons and the poor donkeys slipping half asleep and the vague fellows in the cloaks asleep in the shade on the steps and the big wheels of the carts of the bulls and the old castle thousands of years old yes and those handsome Moors all in white and turbans like kings asking you to sit down in their little bit of a shop.

Salman Rushdie and IT support line training

I was born in the city of Bombay … once upon a time. No, that won’t do, there’s no getting away from the date: I was born in Doctor Narlikar’s Nursing Home on August 15th, 1947. And the time? The time matters, too. Well then: at night. No, it’s important to be more … On the stroke of midnight, as a matter of fact. Clock-hands joined palms in respectful greeting as I came.




Photos of Star Wars figurines during Recession times, Marcos Minuchin, Argentinean Photographer, humorous photographyPhotos of Star Wars figurines during Recession times, Marcos Minuchin, Argentinean Photographer, humorous photographyPhotos of Star Wars figurines during Recession times, Marcos Minuchin, Argentinean Photographer, humorous photographyPhotos of Star Wars figurines during Recession times, Marcos Minuchin, Argentinean Photographer, humorous photographyHumorous photos of Star Wars toys out of work, Marcos MinuchinClick to enlarge

I spotted Argentinean photographer Marcos Minuchin’s photographs a couple of weeks back at the annual Washington Square Memorial Day Art Show, on my way to buy a bagel. The large prints hanging outside his booth made me smile.

Minuchin started his series The Secret Life of Toys in 2007 as a photography class project, but kept the project going after a lot of positive feedback. His Recession Army series seems especially relevant these days. According to Minuchin, one of the perks of working with toys is that they work long hours without complaining.

You can see more of Minuchin’s photographs on his website, and you can purchase them there too.

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Playing Google Chinese whispers

If you run Mary had a little lamb in Google translate and change it to many languages (use non-Latin like Arabic, Azerbaijani a lot) and then back to English it becomes:

I had a little lamb
White snow and wool.

Go around, Mary,
And to ensure that pregnancy.

Day after school
This is contrary to the system.

The toys they laugh
We see the lamb at school.

And teachers,
However, there are still some

And patients
I have not seen him.

“I love my sheep?”
Screaming children.

“Why, I do not love lamb, you know.”
The teacher’s answer.

donkey_revolution by doodle_juice

donkey_revolution, a photo by doodle_juice on Flickr.

مگر مغز خر خورده بودی که انقلاب کردی؟
Why! Had you eaten a donkey’s brain that you gone off and had a revolution?

My 85 year old Dad just discovered Nigella Lawson

71401190FY006_lawson by doodle_juice
71401190FY006_lawson, a photo by doodle_juice on Flickr.

My 85 year old Dad just discovered that Nigella Lawson’s cooking program is not watched for the cooking.
It was a funny Euroka moment for him. He said I bet people don’t watch this program for the cooking.
Yes Dad, they don’t, although the cooking ain’t bad, or in fact it’s good.
Then I was sitting in the car with my 17 year old daughter and I was listening to the new Kasabian Album. I said I bet people like Kasabian for the retro element in their music. She turned round and gave me a silent Daaaa! look and said yes Dad people like their music for their retro.

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